Cycle Nirvana

NBM #19

2011-11-22T10:20:00.000-08:00

What's on your Bucket List?

Ther's so much I want to do, here's just a few:

- skydiving
- travel to Englad and Ireland
- start a coffee shop
- hike the Appalachian Trail
- take a train trip across the US
- go on a cruise
- have procedures to make my body more in line with who I am

NBM #18

2011-11-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

Every family usually has one person or group of people who take care of Thanksgiving dinner. Who was that when you were growing up and who is it now?

All my life my Grandmother, my mom's mom, has prepared our Thanksgiving dinners. All the family gathers at her house. She loves doing it and will only take a little bbit of help in the kitchen. Early this year, she had a stroke and lost movement of her left arm and leg. She has been in a nursing home since then. This year, we will go visit her on Thanksgiving, then probably go to Golden Corral to eat (blah). It's very hard to think about her not being able to fix the big family dinner. It makes me so sad. I can't do it this year, but maybe I will take over the Thanksgiving duties next year.

NBM #17

2011-11-22T10:10:00.000-08:00

What are your most favorite smells of the Holidays????

I would have to say some of my favorite smells are the holiday lattes at Starbucks. I love the pumpkin spice, the eggnog, and the peppermint lattes. I wait all year for them to come back during the holidays.

NBM #16

2011-11-22T10:08:00.000-08:00

What's at the top of your Christmas wish list right now? Not something you NEED but something you really WANT!

What I really want now is a newer car. I love my Saturn and my Jeep, but they both have over 200,000 miles on them. I would love to have something maybe a few years old, that is completely reliable and comfortable. I will not be able to afford anything for a while, but maybe sometime next year I can.

NBM #15

2011-11-15T14:12:00.000-08:00

If you could go back and have a re-do on one thing, what would it be?

There are many things that at first thought I would love to change. Many actions toward others and especially to myself. But then I think about it, everything that has happened has brought me to this point. Things may have been better if I could change things, but it could also be the one little change that would cause me not to be here at all right now. I would not want to risk doing something that may have ended my life prematurely, butterfly effect. I am here now and only looking toward the future. :)

NBM #14

2011-11-15T08:12:00.000-08:00

LIST 50 things about yourself. 50 not 49... go for it..... can be good or bad... but 50!

1.   I just turned 40 last month
2.   I was born in Manassas, VA
3.   I have a 3 legged cat named Bud
4.   I can play trombone, tuba, and baritone
5.   I enlisted in the Air Force right out of high school when I was 17
6.   I was a Rocky Horror Picture Show cast member in Biloxi Mississippi
7.   I am right handed
8.   I grew up as an only child, but I have a step-sister and a half-sister
9.   I was in the high school marching band
10. I like to play tennis
11. I used to play competition paintball
12. I have green eyes
13. I love zombie books, movies, and shows
14. My parents divorced when I was 4
15. I am on a cycling race team, Dire Wolf Racing
16. I am a mechanical engineer
17. I was an Avionics Guidance and Control technician in the Air Force
18. I love coffee
19. I was a very picky eater when I was a kid
20. I love "good" food now
21. I would love to be a chef
22. When I was 14, I stepped on a large nail that went all the way through my foot
23. I snowboard
24. I love to travel
25. I have been to Japan, Italy, Germany, Canada, Mexico, and Puerto Rico
26. I was stuck in a hurricane in Puerto Rico
27. I have always felt feminine
28. I had a kidney stone 6 years ago
29. I would like to someday hike the Appalachian Trail
30. I like my steak rare
31. My first Saturn was totalled in Kentucky when a Dodge Dakota hit me going 45mgh
32. My first car a 1978 Subaru Brat
33. I bought my house 10 years ago
34. I need to replace my hot tub, it has been broken for 2 years
35. I drove old air cooled VW's for about 8 years
36. My favorite was my 1978 pop-up camper bus
37. I was in the science team of the Acedemic Competition for Excellence in high school
38. I love Star Wars and Star Trek
39. I drove to LA, California in 3 days
40. I like martinis, savory or sweet
41. I saw the Ramones in Myrtle Beach in 1995
42. I would love to climb Mt. Everest
43. I have had my tongue pierced for 15 years
44. When I was 16, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, tore my shoulder muscles
45. I love the beach
46. I also love the mountains
47. I am going through many major changes now
48. I hate predudice
49. I am a techo geek
50. I need to choose a new middle name :)

NBM #13

2011-11-14T18:51:00.000-08:00

Are you excited about Christmas.. when do you start your shopping..family traditions.. plans... how do you decorate... favorite thing about Christmas.. anything you want to share about Christmas.

I am not excited about Christmas this year. First of all there's not much of a real home life here now, plus I don't have any money. But I will make the best of it. There will still be some Christmas spirit.

NBM #12

2011-11-14T18:42:00.000-08:00

Today's topic: Pick a TV show that you like or dislike and tell us a little about the show and what you do AND do not like about it.

My favorite show right now is Walking Dead on AMC. It's in the second season and it keeps getting better. I love zombie books and movies. This show is done extremely well. The acting, story line, and effect are excellent.

NBM #11

2011-11-11T12:36:00.000-08:00

If you have served in the military, describe the job you did, if you liked it, etc. If you haven't served, talk about someone close to you who has.

I joined the Air Force in 1989 right out of high school. I had tried to get into the Air Force Academy, but they only take a small number of applicants from each state each year. I was a semi-finalist, but didn't make. So I enlisted. I had scored very well on my ASVAB testing and I pretty much had my choice of jobs. I decided to be an Avionics and Guidance Systems repair technician. I went to basic training in San Antonio, Texas at Lackland AFB. From there I went to Keesler AFB in Biloxi Mississippi. I was there for 8 months while I went through the electronics training. I was stationed at Griffiss AFB in Rome, NY. My job was to take the faulty electronic components and repair them. These components were off of KC-135 tankers and B-52 bombers. Because I workied on equipment from B-52's that carried nuclear bombs, I had to have a Top Secret clearance. I enjoyed my time in the Air Force and probably should have stayed, but the fairly strict rules were not really for me. I would not trade that time or my service for anything though.

NBM #10

2011-11-10T18:29:00.000-08:00

As a teenager, what were some of your favorite things... like clothes, food, music, subjects, friends, colors, drink, pasttime, etc.......

The clothing part is a bit embarrassing. It was the height of the 80's. So some of my favorite clothes were Member's Only jackets, parachute pants, and stone washed ripped up jeans. :p I was a very picky eater until I was in mt 20's. I love good food now, but back then it was burgers and pizza. My music taste was mostly Rock and Heavy Metal, but I always had a love for the Beatles, and I still do. Sinve we moved here from Manassas in '84, I didn't have many friends. I was very shy and found making new friends very difficult. I always felt out of place, from social situations to my own body. I did a have few good friends. I am still friends with them today. My activities were mostly the Marching Band, playing tennis, and riding my bike. I would love to go back to those days. Not re-live them, because it wasn't always fun, but to make changes early on instead of waiting another 20+ years to live as me.

NBM #9

2011-11-09T12:38:00.000-08:00

Besides Facebook or your Mail or your Bank, etc.....share the link to a website that you visit everyday (or frequently) and why you like the site!

http://www.pandora.com/

I love to listen to Pandora while I'm working. It's one of the benefits of sitting at a computer all day. I can choose the type of music I like and it creates a playlist of similar songs and artists. There used to be a time limit of 40 hours a week before you had to pay for it. Now it's completely free,

NBM #8

2011-11-09T12:34:00.000-08:00

IF you could have ONE special Talent.... what Talent would you choose to have?.....

Hmm, if I had to choose, I think it would be to play piano. I've always wanted to learn but never did. I know it's not too late. So maybe I should take lessons. I have some musical background. I played trombone, tuba, and baritone in school and the Keesler AFB drum and bugle corps.

NBM #7

2011-11-07T13:44:00.000-08:00

You have 2 free round-trip plane tickets to anywhere.... your spending budget for hotel, rental car, food and expenses is $25,000,

who are you taking?

where are you going?

where are you staying?

what car are you renting?

what type of food will be on the menu?"....

I'm not sure who I would take. I guess I would check with my friends a see who needed a vacation the most. For a destination, I think I would choose London. I've always wanted to go there. I would stay at The Savoy, one of the most distinguishes hotels in London. For the rental car, it would to be some absolutely Britsh. So I would to find an Aston Martin DB-9. I thinkI would mostly eat at the cutting edge trendy restuarants. London is very much respected for its cuisine. Of course I would to find a street cart that sold good old fashioned fish n chips too.

NBM #6

2011-11-06T15:29:00.000-08:00

Describe your perfect morning, assuming you don't have the work or do anything in particular.

First of all I would sleep in an extra hour or two. Then I would fix a hot cup of coffee. I would sit out on my deck with a blanket for the chilly air. First cup down, I would come back in, make a second cup and sit in the livingroom and surf the web, maybe comment on the Ark, and watch some tv.

NBM #5

2011-11-06T15:24:00.000-08:00

Your most favorite vacation and why.

My favorite vacation would have to be our honeymoon to Cancun. It was an all inclusive trip. While at the resort hotel, all the food and drinks were free. We got a great deal on it. Hurricane Wilma had blown through the previous Fall and many of the hotels were still closed or damaged. With 2 pools and 3 bars, a local mall, and a huge public beach nearby, we had plenty to do.

NBM #4

2011-11-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

Day #4 of the challenge is, if you had $20,000 what would you buy? It has to be fun stuff and can't be used for paying bills.

This is tough. There is so much I could do. Does cosmetic surgery count as paying bills? There's a few procedures that I will be needing in the future. But first, I think I would buy a decent vehicle. Nothing brand new. Maybe just a few years old. Both of my cars have over 200,000 miles on them. I really like the new Hyundai Veloster. So mabye in a couple of years, I'll get a used one.

NBM #3

2011-11-03T12:39:00.000-07:00

Tacky Tack Thursday:
List 10 things you find tacky.

1. People with no respect for those who try to help them

2. Angry drivers

3. Self-inflated egos

4. Wacky ties

5. Narrow minds

6. People who do the exact thing that the complain about other people doing.

7. Super baggy pants.

8. People who expect everyone to do everything for them.

9. People whos style has not changed since 1982.

10. Fair weather friends

NBM #2

2011-11-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

Day 2, Name at least 3 songs you would have on a mix CD for a road trip.

1. "I am the Highway" by Audioslave. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jA13XYlWHc

2. "Ticket to Ride" The Beatles. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY_6b4-N9Uo

3. "I'm Just a Girl" No Doubt. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHzOOQfhPFg

NBM Day #1

2011-11-01T12:16:00.000-07:00

It's National Blog Month again. I needed something to get me back into it.

Day #1- What is one thing on your "Bucket List", you intend to do?

I have lots of stuff I want to do before I kick the bucket. One is to snowboard in Colorado. I got a little taste of deep powder in New hampshire when I first started boarding. It is so much better than the icy snow here. Most of the ski resorts near here have to make their own snow. It works and is better than nothing, but it doesn't compare to natural snow. I have family in Colorado, so I just need to take the time to get out there and do it.

Day #16

2011-09-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

A book you've read that changed your views on something.

I can't really say that a book has changed my views. Most of what I read is horror/suspense. I get that from my mom. We both love a good zombie book!

Day #15

2011-09-25T07:17:00.000-07:00

A band/musical artist who music impacted your life.

This is a tough one. I love music and have many favorite bands. I don't there's one that has made a larger impact on my life. I'd say the whole genre of alternative and punk rock have had the most influence.

Day #14

2011-09-25T07:10:00.000-07:00

Someone who has made your life worth living.

I can't just name one person. The people that make my life worth living are my friends. They have been there for me recently and have made such a difference. I was not in a good way last year. Things may have seemed fine from the outside, but a few wonderful, caring friends pulled from the depths of dispair and helped to get me moving again. Thank you all, you know who you are. <3

Day #13

2011-09-25T07:07:00.000-07:00

Discuss some of the things on your bucket list.

I haven't sat down and written out my bucket list. I need to, but here are a few things.

Skydive- I have always wanted to do it at least once.

Visit Ireland and Scotland- Clifford is a Scotch-Irish name.

Go on a cruise- Maybe Angee can help me out with this one.

Live in a big city- I would love an apartment in someplace like New York or San Fran.

Live as who I really am- This one is come soon. :)

There are too many others to list

Day #12

2011-09-25T06:54:00.000-07:00

Something you hope to change about yourself and why.

Basically I plan to change my whole outward appearance and mannerisms. Inside I am still the same person, but the outside does not match.

Day #11

2011-09-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

Something about which people seem to complimnet you.

I guess it would be that I am friendly and willing to help anyone who needs it. I have always put others first. I think that why now that I need support, I have so many wonderful friends standing behind me.

Day #10

2011-09-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

Something at which you have been a champion or the best

Again, cycling. When I first started mountain biking, I was not very good at all. It took a few years before I was ready to try racing. Once I started, I couldn't stop. My first full year of racing, I won the beginner class of the Derailer Series. The next year, I won Sport class. Since then I have won some Singlspeed races, gotten into road bike racing and cyclocross. I've been a member of Dire Wolf Racing for two years now. I will be there next year too, but I know it won't be as a serious contender like previous years.

Day #6

2011-09-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

Something that excites you and fills you with joy.

Cycling, it is definitely exciting. Whether it's screaming down a paved road at 45 mph or dodging (mostly) trees in the back woods. The part that gives me the most joy, are all my friends that I ride and race with. They are a super group of people.

Challenge Day 5

2011-09-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

Something in life that gives you balance.

What gives me the most balance are my wonderful and caring friends. I have of the best friends ever, I love you all. You give me the strength and confidence to carry on with my path. Without you all, I would be lost and in a very bad place. Thank you.

Challenge Day 4

2011-09-06T12:18:00.000-07:00

Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy.

Every workday begins with a shower. After I get out, while I let my hair dry a while, I sit with a cup of coffee. This is probably the most relaxing part of my day. I can check Facebook and see what's going with all my friends on at the Ark. The house is quiet, just me and my cat, Bud, are awake. I usually have about 20 minutes or so of this peace before I have to get ready.

Challenge Day 3

2011-09-06T12:12:00.000-07:00

Something with which you struggle.

Oh wow, this is an easy one and hard at the same time. I really don't know how to explain struggling with the basic essence of your being. Take something that you have known, or thought you knew all your life, and turn it upside down. Even though it has always been there in the shadows, there's the tendancy to deny and cover it up, hoping it will go away, but it never does. So the only option is to embrace it and make the best of it.

Challenge Day 2

2011-09-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

Something you regret not having done last year.

Most of what I regret has to do with hurting people close to me. Not intentionally. I know that I had no choice, but it is still difficult to deal with. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but if I hadn't not made some very tough decisions for myself, I don't think that I would have made it much longer. Now it's time to pick up the pieces and salvage what I can.

Daily Blog Challenge Day 1

2011-09-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's time for another challenge. I'm getting in a few days late on this one, so I will try to post 3 of them today.

#1 Something you are looking forward to this year.

Even though we are almost 3/4 of the way through the year, I have lots to look forward to. First of all is my doctor's appointment this Thursday. I'm hoping he will be able to prescibe what I need to start to correct a long term "defect" of sorts. Many changes are coming later this year. It can be very upsetting and scary, but it's time for a new start. For me, life literally begins at 40! So many new oppertunities are out there for me to grasp.

Wacky Wednesday

2011-07-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

It is Wednesday, and is definitely wacky. Everyday of my life lately is wacky, lol. Of course what I consider wacky may be tsrange and offensive to some, but that's their tough luck. I have my life to live, not anyone else's. Not that I don't care about anyone, I really, really do. But if I don't live for me, then it's not really a life. The next big step is in September. :)

Other wackiness is how crazy it is at work. I have so much to do. They are letting work a few hours over, but it's still hard to keep up. But I'm really not complaining, it beats not having much work or no job at all.

Beginning

2011-07-17T07:46:00.000-07:00

The big changes are beginning. Most are extremely good, and some will be good in the long run. I think most of my friends will remain true to me, but I know some won't and that's ok. Their choice, their loss.

Sunday Ride

2011-07-17T07:34:00.000-07:00

Allen came by to pick me up at 8 this morning. We went to Davy's house and left from there for a long road ride. After a few great climbs, one up a super cool secret road, I realized that my rear brake pads were so worn that the metal bracket was hitting the wheel. I ended up heading home and only got in 25 miles. I hope they have a great ride. I will definitely be getting new brake pads soon.

2011-06-21T17:53:00.000-07:00

Well my getting back into blogging hasn;t worked out so well. I need to get back in the habit. There's just not much time. Anyway, not much new happening. Work has been very busy. I haven't been cycling as much as I want. I was sick for almost 2 weeks. The ID3 Independence Day races are coming up soon. I hope I will be ready.
I hope to really get the ball rolling on my personal goals soon. There is so much to do, but it's one step at a time. I am so ready for this. :)

Cold

2011-06-12T08:45:00.000-07:00

I am so sick of this head cold. I can't seem to shake it. I missed a day of work last week and a mountain bike race on Saturday that I was really looking forward to. The doctor said it was probably viral, but gave me an antibiotic prescription to take if it didn't clear up soon. If I still feel the same tomorrow, I will start the antibiotics.

Back

2011-06-06T17:12:00.001-07:00

Trying to get back to blogging everyday, but I don't have much to say today. Just barely scraping through life today. Better tomorrow.... I hope

Progress

2011-06-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

   I've taken a bit of a break from my blog last week. After having a 24 hour race last weekend, it was hard to get back into blogging everyday. Now it's time to refocus.

   First of all the 24 Hour Burn was a blast. Our team placed 10th out 31 in our class. I'm just now feeling recovered. Now I am sick with a cold and sore throat. :(

   I took a huge step in my personal progress this week. I went through all my clothes and got rid of everything that doesn't fit. Stuff that physically doesn't fit and stuff that no longer fits who I am or who I was. To say my style has changed recently is a BIG understatement. Nothing will ever be the same, and that is a great thing. There's a very long way to go yet, but those first steps are the biggest and most important. Thankfully I have some wonderful friends that will help me along the way. Thank you all!

May Challenge 5/25

2011-05-25T13:12:00.000-07:00

From Kal...what have you bought and never used?

I am usually the frugal one. Rarely buying anything that I don't need. But I'm sure I have clothes that I have never worn. And there's a few nail polish colors that I had to have, but never wore. Back hen I was driving air-cooled VW's, I had a few project cars that I was never able to do anything with. Other than those, there's not too much that I buy that I don't use.

May Challenge 5/24

2011-05-25T03:28:00.001-07:00

From Missy- ABC's of Life: Dues (ie: dues of life)

May Challenge 5/23

2011-05-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

Frome Jennifer- Any summer vacation plans? Short weekend get-away? Where are ya headed this summer and what will ya be doing there?

I don't have any definite vacation plans yet. I would love to get to Va Beach for a long weekend. Maybe stop by for a night at Angee's house, then stay a few nights at the beach. I think if I went to the beach and didn't stop at Angee's, there would be hell to pay, lol. An evening by the pool with her and Wayne and a bottle of wine would be great. I always take my bike to the beach so I can go out early before it gets crowded and go back and forth on the boardwalk and explore some of the surrounding area. This year's vacation will probably be by myself. A few days of sun, sand, and relaxation. I'm sure I would do some shopping and eating at nice restuarants too.

Sunday 5/22

2011-05-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a great day of mountainbike racing. I placed 1st in single speed class for the Time Trial. It was 6.75 miles of mostly singletrack and I did it in 37 minutes and 10 seconds. That afternoon, I placed 1st place in single speed in Dual Slalom race. That race was so much fun. 48 seconds of tight berm turns, table tops, and jumps.

Today I volunteered to help out the Storming of Thunder Ridge century. I did SAG support for a 15 mile section. It was weird to not actually ride this event, but I have the 24 Hour Burn next weekend and decided I should take it easy.

May Challenge 5/20

2011-05-22T17:58:00.000-07:00

What was your favorite vehicle and why:

I think mine would be a tie. First would be my first car, a 1978 Subaru Brat. It was basically a regular sedan that they put a little truck bed on the back. It was tiny and under powered, but I loved it. It would go anywhere with on the fly 4 wheel drive. I wish I had the jump seats in the back though. The motor bleww in it after about 2 years.

Second would be my 1978 VW camper bus. Most people either love or hate old air-cooled VW's. I love them and drove them exclusively for about 8 years. My Westy was in great shape. Little to no rust and a great engine. Unfortunately, my girlfriend at the time rear ended an 88 Mustang with it and totalled it. For a long time I had plans to fix it, but the damage was to much. Someday I will have another one.

May Challenge 5/19

2011-05-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

From Angee- "When, why, and how the heck do you sleep?"

May Challenge 5/18

2011-05-18T12:04:00.000-07:00

From Kal:   When you think of ‘home,’ what, specifically, do you think of?

   It's funny how my perception of home has changed. I grew up just outside of Manassas, Va. My parents moved to Amherst County when I was almost 14. A very diffucult time in childhood to try to start over. I was akward and unsure of myself enough as it was. For a long time I felt home was still in Northern Virginia. Eventually that passed and our new place was home. Then I went into the Air Force. During that time and the time after that I spent renting apartments around Lynchburg, home was always at my parents house. Finally, when I bought my own house, it became home. My sanctuary, the place I always feel safe.
   Another aspect of home is how people feel about themselves. Most feel at home in their own skin, their bodies, even with their perceived flaws, feels right and is never given a second thought. I've never really had the luxery of that basic feeling. I've been outside looking through a window at the warmth and comfort taken for granted by most. It's time to open the door and step in....

Blog Challenge 5/17

2011-05-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

From Missy: ABC's of life, the word "Can't"

I've heard this word all my life. Either directly or suggested. You can't do that, you can't act like that, you can't dress like that, you can't feel like that. Unfortunately, I listened to them and told myself that I was wrong and they were right. Years and years of self doubt and hate took it's toll. I tried to do what "they" said was right. Tried to live as they wanted. I can no longer do that. It's time to do things my way, the way I feel is right and should have always been from the "very" beginning.

May Challenge 5/16

2011-05-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

Share one of your favorite meals you make for your family. What's the recipe? If you don't do the cooking, share the meal you request the most!

I love to cook, and I love to try new things. But one of my favorite meals is a simple grilled steak. If I'm feeling indulgent, I'll start with a thick cut Porterhouse. I don't marinade, but I do like some spice rubbed on it. Nothing over done, just salt, pepper, and maybe some garlic and onion powder. The steak has to be at room temperature when it goes on the grill. I sear it for about a minute and a half to 2 minutes on each side and it's done. I like some good grill marks on the outside and a cool red center. This would be very rare. I like to cook Vidalia onions on the grill too. I take a whole onion, peel it, then cut a cone in the top. I pack the cutout with butter and beef buollion cubes. Wrap it in foil and set on the grill for about 25 minutes. They come off soft, translucent, and delicious. Another good side would be some cous-cous. I like to add some curry and ginger spice to mine. Finish the meal off with a nice glass of Merlot or Cabernet and it's almost a perfect meal.

:(

2011-05-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

So blah this evening. Wondering why I bother. Is it worth it?

I know it's worth it, in the long run. But it's so hard.

May Challenge 5/13

2011-05-13T19:50:00.000-07:00

Tell us where you will/want to be in life next year, 5 years from now, and 10 years.

   By this time next year I hope to be well into the serious part of my journey. The biggest changes come early. Hopefully I will still have most of my friends still standing by me. If not, I will find more. :)

   In 5 years, I hope to be established and much more comfortable with myself. Much of the major stuff should be done. Maybe still doing the same job, maybe something new and exciting.

   10 years from now, I want to be just another person out there and taken and treated like anyone else who presents themselves in the way I will.

May challenge 5/12

2011-05-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

List 10 things, good or bad, that are weighing on your mind now,

I'm doing this one again because the original got lost when the blogger site went down the other day.

1.   The 24 Hour Burn mtn bike race is in 2 weeks, I hope I'm ready

2.   I wonder if I will want or be able to race next year

3.   My 3 legged cat, Bud, is getting old. It will be a tough time when he passes, should still be a few years.

4.   I have some of the greatest friends ever.

5.   What will I be like or look like this time next year.

6.   Why are some people so narrow minded and hurtful?

7.   I have replaced most of my wardrobe, I have a lot of "old" clothes to give away or donate.

8.   I turn 40 this October, big year, big plans, big changes.

9.   I'm finding that this path gets easier in some ways and harder in others.

10. I hope I have the strength to do this.

May challenge 5/11

2011-05-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones?

I have many great memories of my life. The though of losing them is almost unthinkable. But not being able to make new ones would be worse I think. What would be the point of living if you can't make new memories. I would rather look to the future than dwell on the past. I guess that is very appropriate now.

May blog challenge 5/10

2011-05-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

ABC's of life, Be yourself:

I always thought I was being myself, always different, being my own person. Then I finally realized that there was a deeper self that I had repressed all my life. Sure it showed up in various ways over the years, but because I thaought it was wrong and not what everyone else wanted me to be, I beat it back down into hiding. Now it has exploded to the surface and it will not be denied. This is something that has been there since birth. It's not an illness, not a choice, not done to hurt anyone. I just wish I had the courage earlier to deal with it. Yes Kal, I know I'm being very vague, but I still have to for a while, lol.

May Blog Challenge 5/9

2011-05-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

"Tell us your superhero name and your powers"

Wow this is a tough one. I really like Jennifer's, I'm the cleaner in my house.

I could be the Mighty Morphing Power Person. With the ability to easily move between all social classes, races, and genders. Then I could gather any information and help bring everyone closer together. But some boundaries I would cross, I wouldn't want to come back from. :)

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

I started Mother's day by going to see my grandmother. She is still trying to recover from her stroke. She was doing well today and in good spirits. Then I went out to my mom's house. I brought my computer and hooked it up to her tv. We watched all 6 episodes of Walking Dead. I bought the first season on I-tunes and since my mom loves everything zombie, we had a very good day.

Pre Mother"s Day

2011-05-08T05:34:00.000-07:00

Blog for yesterday:

Tyler and I took Jess out for Mother's Day on Saturday. So we would have more time, instead of dividing time with driving to our parents. Jess and I will go see all them on Sunday. We picked Ty up around 11 and decided to head out and do some shopping. Kohl's had awesome sales right now. We all got some stuff. Ty got running shorts, Jess got pants, I got some capris. We then went to the mall to see if the guy that sells posters was there. Ty wanted some band posters for his room. The guy wasn't there, but we did get Ty a shirt from Hot Topic, a Sublime t-shirt. Later in the evening we too Jess to Harbor Inn for dinner. It was fantastic. Jess ordered crab legs and spiced shrimp. All in all it was a great day and I'm glad Jess enjoyed it.

May Bblog Challenge 5/6

2011-05-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

If you could take trip a trip to any country for a vacation, where would you go?

Two of my favorite places that I have visited were Italy and Japan. I loved them both. But this should be somewhere I have never been. I would like to go to Ireland, Scotland, and Great Britain. All of the Isles. Clifford is Scotch-Irish and there were many Cliffords in England. I love the rolling green hills of Ireland and Scotland, and they have great beer and liqour. :) England has a very cool counter-culture. It is after all, the birthplace of punk rock!

May challenge 5/5 from Angee

2011-05-05T18:34:00.000-07:00

"What have you done as an adult that you never expected would happen."

hmmm, so many unexpected things have happened. Getting married was one. I was not ever looking for that to happen, and getting an awesome step-son in the process. Now I'm about to embark on a journey that I always hoped to go on, but never thought I would.

May Challenge from Kal

2011-05-04T12:34:00.000-07:00

What Gets You Excited About Life?

This is a tough one. There are so many things. Sharing good times with family and friends, of course my cycling, the sheer natural beauty that is all around us, the simple joy of my favorite foods, a fast drive on a winding country road in my Saturn, and the unknown future. That's the best part. If we knew what was coming next, it would be extremely boring.

May Challenge, Tuesday

2011-05-03T18:41:00.000-07:00

The ABC's of life, Aspire

I'm aspiring to be who I am supposed to be. It's a long, difficult journey. But I must travel this road. Luckily I have some great friends and family members that will help me. Some won"t like it and will leave my circle of friends, but I can't let that stop me.

May Blog Challenge Day 1

2011-05-02T15:50:00.000-07:00

Day 1, Monday. From Jennifer:

How/why did you start blogging?
What keeps bringing you back to keep blogging?
What are your favorite things to blog about?

I start blogging a few years ago as a way to keep track of my mountain bike racing. I did it for a while, then kinda gave up on it. I"ve turned it into an everyday life blog.

All of my blogging friends and the challenges keeps me going. And it"s a great release of stress sometimes. Just writing about any problems can help ease my mind.

Cycling is still a favorite topic of mine, but I have huge choices and changes on the horizon, and they will provide plenty to talk about.

Sunday

2011-05-01T18:16:00.000-07:00

Typical day. I worked at the bike shop. Wasn't too busy today. The Angel's race triathlon was held in the morning and I guess most of the participants were tired and went home afterward. A few did come down to the shop.

"Z" is for

2011-05-01T18:14:00.000-07:00

Z is for Zombies!

I love anything with zombies, movies, books, whatever. I guess I get it from my mom. She's the same way. I finally did the zombie thing for Halloween last year, with a little twist ;)

"Y" is for

2011-04-29T19:02:00.000-07:00

Y is for Yum. I love good food. The best part of traveling for work was getting to trt foods from different regions and sometimes different countries. Surprisingly, I was very very picky when I was a kid. I would eat burgers, hotdogs, and pizza. Something finally clicked and I found a huge world of fantastic foods.

"X" is for

2011-04-28T12:46:00.000-07:00

X is for Xenophobia. Xenophobia is defined as the "hatred or fear of foreigners or strangers or of their politics or culture".
There's a lot of this in our country. Our country that was created and built by immigrants.

"W" is for

2011-04-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

W is for Why. I used to ask myself over and over, Why is it like this? What did I do to deserve such a thing? Why must I endure? After never getting answers to those questions, I realixe that it does not matter. Nothing will change if I found actual reasons. So I must move forward and make the best of it.

"V" is for

2011-04-27T03:39:00.000-07:00

V is for "V" the movie and mini-series back in the 80's. I loved V when it came out. It was very well done for a tv show. Of course looking back now, it was pretty cheesy, but not as cheesy as the remake that has been on recently. I think more effort went into the special effects in the original than the one today. The new show uses low end computer graphics and it is painfully obvious. I'd much rather sit and watch the original.

"U" is for

2011-04-25T18:28:00.000-07:00

U is for... well it was going to be for Understanding, but Angee wrote an excellent blog on this today. So U will still be for understanding, but I will just direct you to her blog.
http://turtleinkpad.blogspot.com/2011/04/april-z-blog-challenge-u.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheTurtleInkPad+%28THE+TURTLE+INK+PAD%29

Angee, you are awesome!

Easter

2011-04-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

It was a good Easter. I went out to visit my Grandmother. She is doing well, better each day. She has a long way to go, but if anyone can recover from a massive stroke, she can. She is very determined. We had Tyler for about 5 hours today. He is such a good kid. Great personality and funny. Although all the candy was like crack!

"T" is for

2011-04-23T18:51:00.000-07:00

T is for so many things and labels in my life right now. Ones that I don't want to talk about here. So "T" will be for Tomorrow. Tomorrow is never set in stone. Use your time now to make tomorrow a great day and be happy.

"S" is for

2011-04-22T13:26:00.000-07:00

S is for sewing.
When I was very young, I would stay at my grandparents a lot. My grandmother was always sewing or crotcheting. I want to as well, so she taught me some basic techniques. No I like to sew when and get time. Jess bought me a nice sewing machine a couple years ago. I took many of my old, very large shirts, and tailored them down to fit. I did a couple pairs of pants too. I would like to make some of my own clothes, maybe start with some patterns at the fabric shop. I'll start with something easy.

"R" is for

2011-04-21T10:58:00.000-07:00

R is for ride.
I have a mountain bike ride this evening. It should be perfect weather for it. Add in some good friends and it doesn't get much better than that. :)

"Q" is for

2011-04-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

Q is for Queen.
One of the all time great bands. Freddie Mercury was an awesome singer and performer. Their music could range from hard rock to ballad to whimsical fun. In the old days of the super-groups, Queen was one of the best.

"P" is for

2011-04-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

P is for parties.

I want to start hosting more parties. I used to have at least 3 or 4 a year. Now, maybe one. I'd like to get a small group for wine and cheese parties, where evryone brings a bottle of good wine and a good cheese to share. I also want to do theme parties. Like an 80's or 70's party where the dress and music would be from those eras. A 40's or 20's party would be awesome too. And of course a drag theme would be fun. my drag costume would probably be a suit and tie, LOL.

"O" is for

2011-04-18T11:54:00.000-07:00

O is for Opinions,

Like the old saying goes, "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." I don't care about other people's opinions of me. I care about my opinion and of those who are close to me. Everyone else doesn't matter. Not that their opinions don't scare me sometimes. They can think what they want as long as they don't act out in aggression toward me.

Making up for Sunday's post

2011-04-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Why am I sitting here in limbo? I need to get moving and start taking steps one way or another. Of course I have taken some, but there are so many more.

"N" is for

2011-04-18T11:24:00.000-07:00

From Saturday

N is for Newbie. That is what I felt like after the Starlight Criterium race in Roanoke Saturday evening. It was a combined Catagory 4 and 5 race, so I knew it would be tough. I had to start near the back of a field of 70 or more riders. By the time I got rolling, the leaders were already around the first turn. I tried to make my way up through the pack, but it was just too strung out. After about 7 laps, I was already in danger of being lapped. Another factor was that my knee is still giving me some trouble. Anyway, I was pulled from the race like so many others that were about to be lapped. At the end, there were only 16 riders that finished. None of our team were in that group. Oh well, it's early in the season and my training is geared more toward mountain biking.

"M" is for

2011-04-15T20:41:00.000-07:00

M is for Mexican food. I had it twice today. Our usual Friday lunch group from work went to La Carreta. Then after visiting my grandmother, who turned 81 today, my mom, aunt Jeanette, aunt Loretta, and I went to the Mexican restuarant in Amherst. I could eat it almost everyday. I love it, but it's still not as good as the authentic food I had in Mexico.

"L" is for

2011-04-14T17:13:00.000-07:00

L is for Lightweight.
I'm sure anybody who has only known me for a few years or so, would not believe how I looked 10 years ago. At one point I was over 200 pounds. I'm only 5' 8" and it wasn't muscle. I started cutting back on fast food, eating more for breakfast and lees for dinner, and started cycling. Now I usually stay around 150-155. I look back at pictures and I can't believe the difference.

"K" is for

2011-04-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

K is for kitchen.
I love to be in the kitchen cooking. When I was a child, I enjoyed helping my mom cook dinner. Now, creating good food is a something I love to do. Cooking for myself is ok, but I really like cooking for others. I've often thought about going to culinary school and becoming a chef. Who knows, so many other things are changing, Maybe I will do it.

"J" is for

2011-04-12T11:45:00.000-07:00

J is for Jamiroquai. I always loved his song Virtual Insanity, especially the video.

"I" is for

2011-04-12T03:35:00.000-07:00

(Monday)

I is for international.
I love to travel. My job has sent me out of the country several times. I've been to Canada, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Italy, Japan, a brief stop in Germany, and all over the US. This was all while I was a mechanical technician. Now I am in engineering, I rarely get to travel. So I guess now I will have to rely on myself and vacations to travel. My passport expires this year, so I really need to get it renewed. I think everyone should travel outside of the US if possible. Seeing other cultures and how they live really helps us to understand each other and brings the world closer together.

Wintergreen

2011-04-10T18:42:00.000-07:00

I went to the ski resort, Wintergreen today to ride the course for the Wintergreen Ascent. I went with my friends, Mary Alex and Jen Brown. The climb is between 6 and 7 miles and rises almost 3000 feet. Some sections are 15 to 16% gradient. It took around 45 to 50 minutes. I forgot to look at the time when we started. MA was about 10 minutes behind me. Unfortunately, Jen was not having a good day and turned around mid-climb. It was a great day to ride. It started out chilly and cloudy, then turned warm and sunny. Perfect day!

"H" is for

2011-04-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

H is for History.
I love the History channel, ths Science channel, and Discovery. These are pretty much the main channels I watch, with some Comedy channel and Food Network mixed in. I can sit a watch informational and learning shows all day.

"G" is for

2011-04-08T12:23:00.000-07:00

G is for Grandma. My grandmother is 81. A month ago, she had a massive stroke and a heart attack and was on her kitchen floor all night until my mother found her the next day. She survived. She has almost no movement on the left side of her body, but her mind is intact. She is very strong willed and independent. She made a lot of progress but has a long way to go before she can think about going home again. The fact that she survived the ordeal with only the damage she had is amazing. She has lived alone since my grandfather passed away 13 years ago from a heart attack. She always maintains a garden, keeps her yard clean, and takes walks through the woods. If anyone can get back on her feet, it is her.

"F" is for

2011-04-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

F is for Friday. Even though this was supposed to be yesterday's blog. I was out late on a mountain bike ride and didn't fell like blogging. I really like my job. A relaxed atmosphere, friendly people, and interesting work. I get to design machinery that get shipped to production plants all over the world. But I still alway look forward to Fridays. The weekend is my time to relax, do some cycling, and just recharge.

"E" is for Everyday

2011-04-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

Everyday I am trying to get closer to want I want, what I need. There are so many obstacles, perils, and pitfalls on this very long journey. And I'm just starting. But I will get there, or at least to a happy place.

D is for Desk

2011-04-05T12:21:00.000-07:00

I was always worried that I would hate a desk job. Sitting in one spot, staring at a computer screen. I was always a hands on type person. So when the opportunity came to move into a Mechanical Engineering position, I was a bit hesitant. Luckily, I found that I really enjoy it. The thought of getting dirty everyday is not at all appealling to me. That's what a mountain bike is for. I like being able to wear nicer clothes and stay clean. I guess it kinda goes along with my other more recent revalations or realizations. Dirty hands and nail polish do not get along. :)

My Life in Pictures #30

2011-04-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

A picture of someone you miss:

My Grandfather was one of the nicest people I have ever met. Always friendly and caring. William Clifford was my Dad's father. When my parents divorced, I still went to his house fairly frequently. I always had a great time. Last year he passed away after being in and out of the hospital when he suffered a heart attack. I will always love him and never forget him.

My Life in Pictures #29

2011-04-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

A picture that can always make you smile:

I decided to just scroll trhough my albums until I got to the first pic that really made me smile. This is it.

I set this up in my front yard for Halloween in 2008. The pic was taken before I put the pumpkin guts down the hood. Yes it a real VW Bug, minus a motor and transmission. It was easy to flip using a tow strap and my Jeep.

"C"ycling

2011-04-04T12:52:00.000-07:00

This evening I will try to ride on the Rootbeer ride. I'm hoping my knee can handle it. The swelling has gone down a lot, but I still can't bend it all the way and it's still sore. I will definitely go easy. Luckily, this is supposed to be a very casual ride.

My Life in Pictures #28 (Make-up for Sunday)

2011-04-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

A picture of something you are afraid of:

I am terrified of spiders. I've always been. I know they are important for keeping the insect population down, as long as they do it away from me. eeeeeeeck!

"B"iking

2011-04-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

I went to Candler's mountain this morning for a group ride. Jen, a good friend from Roanoke, came in to ride. We were having a great time. About 6 of us had broken off in a faster group. As we got to the backside of the trail system, my chain popped of on a quick steep climb. This caused my knee to slam full force into the bike frame. Pain shot through my leg. This has happened before, but this time it hit very hard. My knee started to instaantly swell. I tried to ride further, but it got worse. Finally I decided that I had to walk out. My friend Mary Alex walked with me. After about 45 minutes of walking, we finally made it out. Now I am at home with and ice-pack on it. I can only move my knee about 20 degrees right now. Hopefully it will feel better soon.

My Life in Pictures #27

2011-04-02T12:24:00.000-07:00

A picture of you and a family member:

This is my cousin Amber and me at the house I grew up in near Manassas, Va. It seems like forever ago.

My Life in Pictures #26

2011-04-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

A picture of somthing that means a lot to you:

Family means a lot to me. This is some family from my Dad's side. Since my parents divorced when I was 4, I didn't get to grow up as close to them as I wanted. But I love them all. This picture was taken about 7 years ago. My grandfather passed away last year. I miss him a lot. He was always so good to me.

"A"pril Blog Challenge

2011-04-01T04:59:00.000-07:00

This challenge has us using each letter of the alphabet to start the titile of the blog each day, except for Sundays. So 26 letters, 26 days. I am almost finished with the "My Life in Pictures" challenge. I will double up on blog entries until that is completed. The April challenge has no restrictions, as long as it starts with the appropriate letter.

My Life in Pictures #25

2011-03-31T11:25:00.000-07:00

A picture of your favorite day:

I have no idea how I coild pick one favorite day. It could the day of a fun cycling race, or a day with close family, or a day with a friend or family member who has passed away. So there is no picture for this one, I just can't choose. I will say that you should try to make everyday your favorite day. You never know how many more you will get.

My Life in Pictures #24

2011-03-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

A picture of something you wish you could change:

hmmmm, there are many things. Things in the world we live in. Things with family and friends. And aspecially things with myself. That is my biggest problem, myself. But would I change the entire set of circumstances from the beginning of life, or just go back far enough to have a better outcome now? Tough question, but the answer does not matter. None of it can be changed. All I can do now is start from this moment in time and try to make things better for myself. I only have myself to blame if I am not happy. So my picture is of the only thing we should worry about trying to change.

My Life in Pictures #23

2011-03-29T07:57:00.000-07:00

A picture of your favorite book:

I love Stephen King books. "It" is my all time favorite. At over 1000 pages, it a long read, but well worth it. I even like the cheesy tv mini-series. Mostly because Tim Curry was Pennywise the clown.

My Life in Pictures #22

2011-03-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

A picture of something that you wish you were better at:

I wish that I was better at standing up for the things that I need to do for me. I've always been one to put other's needs ahead of my own. I know that's a good quality, but I've done it to the point that I have neglected myself and my needs. This is changing though. I have finally realized that life is too short to not do some things for you. Especially if it absolutely neccessary for your sanity and very existance.