why

I can't blame someone for not understanding. No one can really understand unless they experience it, and I pray that they never do. But a little compassion for something that has a 60% attrition rate would be nice. Being the person I am, I still blame myself.

Sunday Sunday Sunday

I worked at the bike shop today. It wasn't super busy. The temperature was around 50, so there were some people coming in from the bike trail. Met up with Don and MA after work for a nice relaxed ride. Except the climb up trash mountain. One week before the first MountainCross race.

Saturday Sanity

10 things that help me to keep my sanity.

1.   cycling
2.   talking to close friends
3.   a good book
4.   music
5.   family
6.   a glass of wine or cocktail some evenings
7.   a nice hot bath
8.   my "professional listener"
9.   driving on a deserted winding road
10.  lasers :)

Friday

And the pendulum swings the other way, but either way, it is supposed to be my fault. ???

Thank goodness for a bike ride in the morning.

Thinking Thursday

I'm thinking that dark days are ahead. Hard times and tough decisions. Like a line of towering thunderstorms. But past those dark and looming clouds, there is sunshine. Warm, comforting light.

I can get there.

Hump day

Pretty average day, very busy at work though. Makes the day go quick.

Two for Tuesday

Two things I love about the area I live in:
1:  The sheer beauty of the land.
2:  My friends and family

Two things I don't like:
1:  The small town attitude when it comes to people who are little different.
2:  Lack of diversity

Baby steps

Day by day, I get closer. I start to see early results, pushing me to reach further toward my goal. All I can do is take baby steps. As long as I continue to move forward, I get closer to peace. A peace or piece that has always been missing. I will eventually get there, but the road is long and full or detours and potholes. To help me, I have many close friends that I know will help guide me. Thank you all.

Sunday

I finally got the fixie out for a ride today. It was very chilly, but I decided to ride down to the bike shop. I can't wait for the Friday Night Fixie rides in the Summer.

Punisher

Just watched "The Punisher" again. What a crappy movie. Why is it so hard to make a good comic book based movie?

On another note, I had a great morning with a good friend. Good coffee and great conversation.

Friday

Finally finished the week. Stressful day at work. I was trying to upgrade the program we use to do all of the 3D modeling. Turns out my computer does not meet the minimum requirements. So maybe I'll get a new one soon.
Had a good friend over for dinner tonight. He has had a rough start to the new year, but it's getting better all the time. I hope happiness finds him again.

#2

    Today was the second step in a long journey. Many of you know and many more will.

Hump Day

   Halfway through the week again. I've been a little under the weather yesterday and today. Nothing major, just a little stomach bug. It's pretty much gone now. Tomorrow will be a good day, the second installment in a long journey.

Tomorrow

Well, I was hoping to ride to work tomorrow. Now the forcast is for more rain overnight. I don't feel like riding on soaking wet roads again, so I guess I will be driving. Thursday I cannot ride because of an appointment right after work. I could possibly ride Friday, we'll see. I will definitely try to get to the team ride Saturday morning.

Manic Monday

I wish it was Sunday, cause that's my fun day. :)

Sunday

Today was my first day working at the new downtown location at Bikes Unlimited. It's very cool to be in an old brick building downtown. It's much smaller, but seems much more upscale. The Blackwater bike trail is literally 15 feet away, which is great for test rides. I would so love to have a loft downtown. I friend has one and she loves it. Who knows what the future will bring. Maybe I'll end up down there.

Friends

Friends are the greatest resource you can have in life. More than wealth and power, friends can enlighten you and bring great joy. I have many friends. Ranging from life long, to more like acquiatances But I also has a core of very close friends. Those who know me well and I can trust with anything. That group seems to always be growing. A while back I thought they were few and far between, that no one could be so understanding and caring. Now I know that I have many friends that care for me and would stand by me no matter what. These people are the greatest gift I've ever had. I love them all and be always be there for them too.

Back 2

My back felt much better today. It's still sore and turning the wrong way can be extra painful, but it's nothing like it was yesterday. I'll give it at least through the weekend before I ride again.

Back

    I race in dangerous criteriums, give everything I have in time trials, turn myself inside-out in short mountain bike races, suffer for hours upon hours on my single speed in mountain bike endurance races, and do the occasional triathlon. Never getting seriously hurt. Now I'm on the couch with a very painful pulled muscle in my back. It's on the right side, over the ribs, making even breathing a painful effort. Did I crash my bike? Or get hit by a car or something? No, I was lifting groceries out of the trunk of the car last night! Oh the irony!!!

Wednesday

Over half way through the work week!

Ride to Work

   I decided to ride to work today. The forcast was for an inch or so of snow overnight. My street was covered, so I decided to ride my old single speed mountain bike. Unfortunately, when I got to Lakeside Drive, it was clear and just wet. It did start snowing briefly about half way to work. The one low gear added about 10 - 15 minutes to my commute. The bad part was that the dirty water slinging off the front tire would fly forward and I would run into it. I spent most of my ride off to one side or the other, trying to stay out of the spray. I would like to ride it again if the roads are completely covered. Other than that, I will stick to the road bike and dry roads. On the way home, it was drizzling freezing rain. My helmet was covered in ice.

Monday Monday

   Average Monday. Nothing exciting. I'm hoping for a bit of snow in the morning so I can ride the single speed MonoFuel to work.

Saturn

   I've talked about how much I love my Jeep Cherokee. I also love my 1996 Saturn SC-2. It's a small 2 door economy coupe. But unlike most economy cars of the time, it had many standard features not to be found on it's competition. The engine has average power, only 120 hp from a 4 cylinder, and is not roomy at all. I think the back seats are there only for insurance purposes. Which, by the way, it's a four seater. It has 2 individual seats in he back. For styling, it has a pointed nose with pop-up headlights leading to a raked back windsheild and a spoiler on the trunk. It has independent rear suspension and 4 wheel disc brakes. A traction control system control wheel spin. Most small front wheel drive cars have one short front axle and one long axle. This causes torque steer. If you take off hard without holding the steering wheel, the car will turn one direction or another. In the Saturn, there is a live axle from the tranmission to a bearing block, then both axles can be equal length. This eliminates torque steer. Even though in the car, you feel like you are almost sitting on the ground, there is quite a bit of ground clearance. The underside of the car is very clean, with nothing hanging down below the floor pan. The power window are extremly fast. I've never seen windows go up and down that fast. The handling is amazing. Nothing like most cheap, small American cars.
   Now my Saturn is nearing 200,000 miles. It has a lot of valve rattle and burns a bit of oil. Still it can get 37+  mpg on the highway. I don't know how much longer it will last, but I will drive it until it quits.

10 things

10 things I want to change in 2011

1.     Step up my bike racing.

2.     Get down to single digit body fat percentage.

3.     Be kinder to all people.

4.     Stop living for the benefit of everyone else.

5.     Decide what's best for me.

6.     Be who I am, despite what other's think.

7.     Actually take a vacation.

8.     Drop any "friends" that are judgemental and will not stand by me.

9.     Find myself.

10.    Take the first steps.

???

   I want to be happy. I feel sometimes like the world is beating me down. Like whack a mole, everytime it seems that I am rising up, a big hammer knocks me back down into my place.  My place, the dark area I have always called home. Someday I may be able to rise up.

Today

   Weird day. Lots of good and plenty of bad.

Hump Day

   Half way through the week. I don't work tomorrow, Jess is having dental surgery. We are playing Jenga tonight, Christmas present from my parents. I forgot how much fun it is! And the brandy and ginger ale I am drinking is delicious. :)

Tacky Tuesday

Well it's Tuesday and I am supposed to list at least 10 things I find tacky. hmmm

1.   Crocs, I have never liked the way they look.
2.   Socks with sandals or worse yet, flip-flops. These are meant to be worn on bare feet.
3.   The little stick figure family stickers on peoples back windows of their vehicle. I don't care how many kids and pets you have.
4.   Mullets, enough said there.
5.   Tall ankle socks with shorts. Either wear very short socks or push the others down.
6.   Anything by Kenny G.
7.   When someone is going to record a show on their DVR and they say "I'm going to tape it". Yea I slip and say this sometimes, I'm an 80's child.
8.   Wearing full camo to shop at Walmart. Usually combined with #4.
9.   Those sunglasses with the rows of little visor shades across the lenses.
10.  Overly baggy pants.

Yea, a lot of tacky fashion stuff in there, what can I say? lol

Night Terrors

   It's fairly rare that I remember my dreams. Even more rare for them to be super vivid. Last night was an exception. I have two re-occuring themes to many of my dreams. One is zombies, usually trying to stay alive in a zombie apocolypse. The other is dinosaurs, I've had one dream about a T-Rex that I've had now and then ever since I was about 9. Last night, myself and a couple other people were being stalked and finally cornered by a large T-Rex. We were trying to stay as still as possible, per Jurassic Park. But that was made very difficult by the two zombies that were attacking at the same time. Just as both threats were about to finish us, I woke up. I was terrified. I laid there motionless for a few minutes, until I was sure that there were no zombies or dinosaurs nearby. :) I've had a fascination with dinosaurs and archeology from a very young age and absolutely love a good zombie movie or book. So I guess this is the price I pay for it. I don't mind though, keeps the blood pumping, very very fast!

New Year

    Like many of my blogging friends, I am not making normal "resolutions". Resolutions are made to be broken. So I'm just going with ideas for the new year. Ideas like getting back into training mode with the cycling. My plan is to start riding to work again. I have enough cold weather gear to where a 40 min ride to work in 20 degree temperatures is bareable. So 3 or 4 days a week I will be using no gas getting to and from work.
    Another big idea for me will be to take more actions for my own happiness. I've ignored my deep personal needs for a long time. This may be a year of major changes for me. What ever happens it will be for my greater good. More on this later. And more ideas to come.

Day 1 of 2011

   This is the first post of my 365 day blogging challenge. It was a great day. I met 11 other mountainbikers on Candler's mtn for a 3 hour ride. We split up into two groups to keep similar skill levels together. This ride was set up by Scott Sheckman and hopefully it will continue and grow each year. When we finally got back to the snow-flex parking lot, a few of us went up to the lodge to get some coffee. Unfortunately, the small concession stand was closed, so I came home for coffee. Now that the new year has started, it's time to get into a training mode, and start riding to work again.